Archives For Dating

To most men, being the male version of Plain Jane is enough. As long as there is a shirt on his back, some decent clean-looking pants to go with it, comfortable undies underneath that, and some shoes that could get you by for a few more years, he is okay.

Of course you think you are okay, but you might not be good enough to wow a girl.

When it comes to dating, women always love men who try to step up with their game on every possible category. Sure we know how to appreciate the effort, but we do know how to value great results. And this is especially true when it comes to looks. There are ‘manssentials‘ which are the things you NEED, and then there are accessories which you don’t need per se but can be good for you.

We don’t really need you to go out all fancy and dapper a la Rob Kardashian. But it really would not hurt if you made an effort to look great, especially when we are going out on a date.

Accessories and Men

To the Average Joe kinda’ guy, accessories are unnecessary and should be reserved to models and rappers. Most men could do away without anything other than a good ol’ classic looking watch. But there’s more to men’s accessories than just a watch!

Some popular accessories for men include:

  • Bracelets
  • Necklaces
  • Ear studs
  • Scarves
  • Hats and caps
  • Vests
  • Belts
  • Shades
  • Purse, Pouch, Clutch, Bag

As it is with women, the biggest challenge to the non-savvy person when it comes to fashion and accessorizing is to mix and match them. You seriously do not want to look like some guy straight out of a freak show when meeting a girl for a date.

So to make your transition into becoming a more fashionable guy smoother and easier, here are some tips:

  • Keep it at a minimum. SIBG covered this last week. Do not overdo it. If you’re unsure about mixing and matching your accessories, wear at least one or two pieces. Say, shades and a scarf with your trench coat? Or one piece of bracelet at a time to go with your watch?
  • Don’t wear contrasting leather. Do not wear your black leather watch with a brown leather belt on some blue leather shoes. You’re not gunning for the Mr Rainbow look!
  • Decide on what look you want to achieve. Do you want to channel your inner Marshall Mathers? Go for your white sneaks, semi-wide pants and your hoodie. A single ear stud will definitely complete the look. Going for a Ryan Gosling? By all means take out your shiny leather loafers and get all other leather goods to math plus one or two gold or silver bracelets.
fedora

If your accessories do not make you comfortable, don’t push it.

  • Match it with the occasion. Who wears their gold necklaces to the beach anyway? If you’re not Mike Tyson, then no – you cannot wear your gold chain necklace to the beach. Wear a buri fedora and some wood bead bracelets instead! Read this if you need more pointers on how to dress for specific occasions.

Keep your comfort in check. If your accessories do not make you comfortable, don’t push it. You’ll never enjoy the night worrying about what your date thinks about your all-football fan ensemble!

More often than not, when it comes to women and how to talk to them, how you said something is always more crucial than what you actually said.

In most every possible way – whether it is about a compliment, a statement, and more importantly a question – the manner by which you expressed it, the words you used and the very body language you displayed are all taken into consideration by the female creature before you.

talking

It is highly important to know how to ask questions to women properly.

So if you’re going out on a date, or starting an online profile to meet women, or just plainly going to a singles event or a party where you expect to meet women, it is highly important to know how to ask questions to women properly. They give out really good pickup tips and advice here. You cannot ever risk being mistaken as rude, obnoxious, or outright pervert.

Here are my tips on how to ask questions to women:

  • Know which topics to avoid, especially if you’re talking to her for the first time. When it comes to asking questions to women, topics on her weight, her ex, and her finances are the absolute no-can-do. Should I still point out the obvious and tell you that sexually-laced questions are a no-no too?
  • Listen to her answers and make follow up questions based on what she said. No, it does not have to sound like you’re representing CNN at a White House press briefing. What I’m saying is, when you ask her a question, listen to her answer because that’s what you wanted to know. And ask her, subtly to elaborate more on her answer, by giving follow up questions like ‘Really!? How’d you do that!?” or “oh..what happened next?” or “that’s horrible. What did you do about it?” Any follow up question that aims to have her talk more about her answer makes you seem like the interested guy, the good listener.
  • Don’t jump right from one question to another. Unless you’re interrogating her for the FBI or the CIA, you don’t want to ask her one different question after another like you’re reading a list of questions mentally. You’re not just there to ask questions – you’re there to converse and that’s exactly what you should do.
  • Look her in the eye when asking and while she’s talking. Do that because that’s what men with good breeding and manners do.
  • Observe her body language. Some generally harmless questions may be sensitive topics for her, like family or work. And some girls are just too shy to tell you off, so it is best to be sensitive about how she reacts to your questions. Learn more about female body language here. Usually, when topics are off for a woman, she’d likely break eye contact, fidget with her hands, or just smile and keep quiet. The best thing to do and break the awkwardness that would likely ensue after this episode is to not press on the matter and offer to do something else – like get her a drink.

Allow her to ask you questions too. Don’t be selfish and do all the asking – she deserves to interrogate you too! But before this Q&A, be sure to read on about ways on how to be surprisingly sexy here.

‘Sexy’ is not just in the clothes you wear nor what we see when you take off your clothes. Sexy goes beyond the thickness of your biceps or the shininess of your six-pack or the money you have in the bank. In fact, you can have David Beckham’s body and still not be sexy.

Sexy, dear gentlemen, is an attitude that you can wear day in and day out. Being sexy is being irresistible even when you’re wearing your ugliest shirt.

Here are surprising ways to make you irresistibly sexy to women everywhere:

  • Hygiene and good grooming. While some women may frown at the thought of sharing a moisturizing kit with her man, being well groomed is something no girl can ever frown at. Clean clothes, clean smell, clean everything – now that’s sexy. It gives us the impression that you will take care of us just as much as you take care of yourself. Okay, being OCD clean can be a different story. Go ahead and start your way to becoming sexy by cleaning your room and taking a shower twice a day.
  • Great smile. Ahh but of course. Who wouldn’t fall for perfect pearly whites and a smile that goes from your lips all the way to your eyes? Some men are just gifted with great smiles that can turn any ‘No’ to a high flying ‘Yes’. Practice your different smiles for different moments – sweet innocent smile for your girl’s grammy, a seductive little smirk or a naughty half smile with some lip biting on the side for her. Now that’s sexy.
  • Voice. You can cloak an average face with the superb-ness of a voice that can make any girl drop her panties. A well-modulated voice makes it easier how to ask girls out for dates. While to others their sexy voices are natural talents, you can always practice making your voice sound sexier. Drop your pitch a little lower, talk a little more slowly, and pair it with a stare that can melt her heart and create such a mysterious aura with just the sound of your voice. Imagine Clive Owen or Jeremy Irons.
laughter

A funny guy can take home a girl more easily than a 6-pack guy could.

  • Humor. A funny guy can take home a girl more easily than a 6-pack guy could and I’d bet my paycheck with you on that. Girls are drawn to humor because laughing is your body’s natural reaction to happiness, to feeling good. And it will send signals to the brain that the person who makes them laugh also makes them happy and they’d want to stick to that. Seriously, who doesn’t want to be happy? See here why laughter is good for relationships. Get on your happy funny-guy vibe and watch yourself joke your way to a woman’s heart. Okay that didn’t sound right.
  • Intelligence. Being sexy is more than just a pretty face or a scorching hot body. Sex can only last long enough and you’d have to have brains to hold on to a conversation and keep a girl interested. So read interesting things, watch more NatGeo, be aware of the news and feed your brain. Give your girl something else other than your body.

For other date essentials, check out my last post.

My grandpa always used to say, ‘Never go to war unarmed’. And a date is one serious war for everyone, men and women alike. But while it is easy for girls to bring a whole purse-full of lipstick, eye makeup, foundation, lotion, hand crème, hand sanitizer, tissues, contact lenses cleaner, band aids, and what have you’s, it is a whole different level of challenge for men.

Most men are not comfortable about bringing their clutches for dates and they feel like they lose some of their manliness or at least being cool for bringing them on a date. Here’s the good news men: you don’t need a whole wardrobe to take with you on a date, thanks to your being lower maintenance beings than us girls. They are light and easy to carry without the need for a pouch. You may or may not find these in tips on meeting and dating women, so I’m doing you a favor now.

Here are your man essentials – ManSsentials – for your date.

  • A Clean Hanky – you’ll never know the value of a hanky until you or your date spills a bit of the steak gravy on our clothes. She’ll appreciate you for offering it to her and trust that she’ll never forget you for it. This is also handy when you take her to some serious tear-jerker movie date. It makes you look like the complete gentleman. Tip: spray a little of your perfume on the hanky before leaving your house. You can easily rub the perfumed area on your wrist or the back of your ear for later   you feel like your scent is beginning to wear off. Also, when you offer it to her, she will remember how great you smelled like on that night. Here’s an amusing article about why you should carry a hanky.
  • Breath mints – whether you’re a smoker or not, you should always keep a pack of breath mints in your pocket. This is an age-old fool-proof technique used by gentlemen and kings to make their breaths crowd-ready, and especially – date ready! So pop some in before you start your date and pop some after your dinner of garlicky chicken. You not only risk getting caught in that embarrassing situation of her smelling your breath straight out of the sewers, but also get yourself ready for some smoochin’.
  • Wallet with both cash and cards – your cards can only be as good as the establishment that accepts them. But what about your tip? Parking fees? Late night date to the ice cream parlor or to the arcade? A little sidewalk snack that clearly does not have a card machine? Keep your card handy, but don’t forget to stash in some cash for the appropriate moments. Don’t forget to bring an ID too!

Always be one step ahead for every date and keep your pockets ready for all your needs. For everything else, stock the following in your car:

swissknife

Always be one step ahead for every date and keep your pockets ready for all your needs.

  1. An umbrella
  2. A spare coat/jacket
  3. An extra shirt
  4. A Swiss knife for emergencies
  5. Condoms if you’re into that kind of thing (but if action is slow to come for you, make sure you check the expiration date regularly)

It’s funny how so much can happen in 24 hours! I received a couple of emails in connection with my post about cheating yesterday. There was one particular mail, a hate mail hahaha, that said I should man up and write about women who cheat. It’s not all about men cheating. Well, he has a point. So here you go brotha! Chill.

So how do you find out if your girlfriend is cheating on you? Are there any signs you can watch out for? It’s fairly easy, to be honest. All you have to do is pay more attention to the little details. Basically, if your girlfriend is cheating on you, she will try to cover her tracks as well as possible. So, if your girlfriend seems a bit sneaky, then you can be sure that something is up.

Aside from that, if your girlfriend seems to be making noticeable differences in her daily habits, then she is probably cheating on you. In this case, things that she used to do on a regular basis might change out of nowhere.

But don’t worry guys, your bruised ego will suffer only slightly. I stumbled upon this article on dating which should help you cope easily. Lol

The Main Signs of Cheating

Girls who cheat will usually want to meet their secret lovers as many times as they can, so they end up completely disregarding any previous engagements that they might have planned.

frustrated

Freaking out even at the slightest matter is one sign you should watch out for.

  • If your girl freaks out over the most basic of questions, then you should become suspicious, too. In fact, you should be suspicious of anybody who refuses to answer basic questions, in general. Of course, there might be a reason behind the mystery, such as a surprise party. However, if your girl normally never does things like that, then you should be really wary. Be suspicious if she only answers your questions after repeating them or if she pauses before answering you, as well. This might mean that she is trying to come up with a believable excuse in her head. Generally speaking, when girls start to get defensive or hesitate to answer a basic question posed by their significant others, it indicates that they have something to hide.
  • Another time when you should be on your guard is if your girl suddenly starts talking about an old colleague or acquaintance, but doesn’t seem to share any specific details about them or is purposely vague about the situation, in general. This would hold especially true if she is extra evasive and tries her best to keep the friendship under wraps and refuses to introduce you.
  • If you usually have no problem communicating with your girl, but every little sentiment that you express seems to set her off and make her lash out recently, then you should be on your guard, as well. When your girl starts to pick fights over every little inconsequential thing, alarms should go off in your head right away.
  • Another common thing that girls tend to do when they’re cheating is to nag a lot. Nagging seems to help them ease their guilt. So, if your girl habitually starts to pinpoint all of your flaws, you might want to try and figure out what’s up.
  • Believe it or not, shopping might be a telltale sign of cheating, too. If your girl vanishes for hours on end, just to come back with a ton of shopping bags, she might not have been shopping at all; she might have just been busy with somebody else. Think about it.

    shopping

    Shopping, yes, shopping COULD BE a sign of cheating.

Basically, the signs are the same. Although women, in my humble opinion, are less likely to hide their true emotions. It makes it easier for men that way. But remember guys, there are reasons why women cheat. Try to find out whether you had something to do with it.