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Tom and Jean – the happy couples

Hi guys!  Joseph Cohen here. 

I have just received an email from reader Tom Graham who asked:  “Joseph I am about to meet her parents at a dinner in her home.  I’ve seen the movie “Meet The Parents”  and I am absolutely terified something may go wrong.  Do you have any tips for ensuring that my first meeting with her parents goes well?”

Hello Tom! Nothing to be “terrified” about really.  A bit of common sense, preparation and a positive attitude is all it takes.  But to help you further, I have dedicated this entire post to giving you a few tips.

There comes a time in every serious dating relationship when you have to go out and meet the parents. And more often than not, especially when you’ve been together for quite some time, people are going to expect a proposal and/or a wedding soon after. In a way, people see this ‘meet the parents’ stint as an informal and subtle way of telling them that everything about you and the relationship is serious.

But however serious your relationship is, how ready you are to meet the parents, and whatever reason you have for meeting them finally, there is one thing that you can’t possibly change: you have to impress her parents.

As a man, though, there is an unspoken sometimes unseen competition between you and her Dad. And that’s what makes him more difficult to impress. So before you go on your planned getaway with her family next weekend, you had better be armed and ready with ideas on how to impress her dad and win him over.

Here are 5 fool-proof ways to impress her old man:

Bring him his favorite booze. Unless he’s trying to live clean, more likely than not he has a go-to booze. And the only way to find that out is to ask your girlfriend. And if, surprisingly, she does not know the answer, pressure her into asking her mother. If her mother learns that you are actually making an effort to make a good impression on her husband, and that you are somehow going out of your way to make him happy, you score good points with her . If he is actually living clean and staying off of alcohol for whatever reason, bring him his favorite dessert (yes, even if you have to drive for hours to get it).

Be confident but not to the point of being arrogant. This is where most men fail. They want to seem and sound and feel confident to their girlfriends’ dads that they exaggerate on the confidence level and come off as arrogant. And that’s what draws the last straw for them – potential fathers-in-law hate arrogant men for their daughters so be very careful. Be that humble, meek guy who talks and who is just so packed with potential awe-inspiring qualities that will blow him away.

Listen to what he has to say – tall tales and all. Always listen to his stories, show interest and believe them. Never mind if he told you he killed seven reindeer on his last hunting trip or that he had 45 girlfriends before settling down with your girlfriend’s mom. Your first encounter is not the time to argue with him or compete with him. Just. Not.

Show him something you’re good at. If you get the chance, show him your talents. Play the piano for him, cook him your signature steak, show him your mechanic or technician skills and show him that you can run a household like a man and that his daughter won’t have anything to worry about should you guys get married.

Help his wife cook or with some household chore. Win his wife over to your side. Click here for the recommended PUADatabase.com guide on talking to girls. And so if the future mum-in-law puts in a good word or two for you for your awesome steaks, or for fixing that leak in the kitchen, or for being generally a nice young lad, chances are he’s going to take her word for it. After all, his wife has great taste and he’s proof of it!

Thank you for the positive feedback on my last blog post. Hope you will like this one too. Keep reading my updates, or better yet, sign up for the “Swing Method” at http://swingstatus.com/signup/.

Hello blog readers!  This is still Joseph Cohen trying to be helpful!

Sooo, blogger huh? The most awesome thing that the internet has done, apart from allowing us to enjoy the heaven-sent power of them search engines, is to create opportunities for everyone to become who they’ve always wanted to be. Take Youtube sensations for example: Michelle Phan was just an ordinary makeup-obsessed girl who loved to make tutorials about make-ups but is now enjoying an awesome cult following and lucrative product endorsements; PSY became a world sensation from being just South Korea’s favorite funny singer; and how could we forget to include Justin Beiber? Justin Timberlake found him on Youtube and now he’s one of today’s biggest names in pop culture.

The internet has the same effect for bloggers. The blogosphere has opened an entire world of opportunities for everyone – from fashionistas to tech savvy dudes to sports addicts and to fetishists. Anyone can be someone on the internet with a simple blog page! You can post about anything you want and make a name for yourself in it if you play your internet cards right.

Because there’s hardly any censoring done on the internet, it’s so easy to write just about anything. And I mean just about anything. Unfortunately, some bloggers are using this almost infinite freedom of the internet to write bad stuff. Others, they just write stupid stuff – not that it’s any better though. And for many male bloggers, they are guilty of making posts that turn women off. Wanna find out what they are?

What male bloggers do that turn women off

But wait, I go to this website for dating advice (it’s good) you may want to see it for additional help. And now!  Here are 5 things male bloggers do that turn women off:

1. Making sexist remarks. There is no excuse for being sexist. But blogging about it makes it more ‘official’ and more memorable – the internet has as great memory you know. So if you’ve made a post about how women should stay more often in the kitchen to make sandwiches for the men, or that women will never be good in electronics, or you made a nasty sexually laced remark about a woman in your post, trust me you’ll never get any likes or visits from women anytime soon – neither on your page nor in real life.

2. Posting unflattering photos of yourself. This is only forgivable, I think, if you are a comic blogger and your blog is intended to be funny and make fun of yourself. Otherwise, it will just turn women off, especially if it comes with a self-deprecating man-drama post or caption.

3. If you insult rather than critique someone or something on your blog. Whether you’re a movie buff or a foodie running a blog of the same theme, you have to know that there’s a world of difference between a classy critique and plain, uneducated insult masking itself as a blog. Criticism, especially in a supposedly serious and professional blog, should not use deprecating words, let alone foul ones. So be careful about your so-called ‘reviews’.

4. Posting offensive stuff and talking about it in an offensive manner. So some celebrity and his girlfriend are on hot seat now after their sex video leak. Maybe two equally infamous celebrities were caught in a brawl. While that and your blog status sort of allows you to voice out your opinion on the matter, it does not give you any right to talk about the issue in a bad, insulting and degrading manner or use violent and inflammatory words. That’s just gross and low.

5. Getting in a word fight with your commenters. If you’ve got quite a following on your blog and you end up with a bad commenter (aka the kind that insults you and starts a word war for what you posted about), it can be easily into a wicked unintelligent banter and exchange of insults with that commenter. But is that an intelligent move? Does that make your other readers respect you? Always, always practice discretion especially in dealing with comments!

Reader Kyle Thompson (KThomp@gmail.com) asked me:  “Joseph so are you saying that I should just ignore insulting comments?”

Not necessarily Kyle.  YOu are expected to reply in a calm, respectful and rational manner to your blog readers’comments.  That does not preclude pointing out their comments are below the belt, or, in really bad cases, removing their comments for being offensive to you and your audience.

I hope this post helps those of you who have your own blogs.

If by chance you are looking to improve your seduction technique, consider signing up for the “Swing Method” at http://swingstatus.com/signup/.

Hey guys!  I am Joseph Cohen and I have a question for you: Are you a possessive boyfriend?

Jealousy is not only a normal part of any relationship; I believe it is actually essential. After all, you feel commitment and belongingness  when your partner just does not feel good about the idea of sharing you or losing you to someone else. But there is a fine line that divides normal, healthy jealousy from the possessive, suffocating, unhealthy, relationship-fatal kind. Just follow these simple rules to obey for friends with benefits.

The former, apparently, is the kind of occasional, oftentimes cute kind of jealousy that makes your girlfriend want to pamper you more, makes her feel flattered about the fact that you don’t want to share her with anyone else, and the kind that is reasonable. The other one, on the other hand, is just baseless, illogical, exaggerated and maybe even violent type of jealousy –  the ones that often lead to a breakup.

Signs that you’re overly possessive

Wanna find out if you’re the normal jealous or the exaggerated kind?  Read on for signs that you’re a possessive boyfriend:

You freak out over any other human being who tries to talk to her, ask her to hangout, or just get near her. Man you have a serious problem. Okay, so it may be understandable if you get jealous if boys ask her out, but to freak out about her BFF’s, verify with her mom if indeed it was her who asked your girlfriend out, or just plainly go all out on holding her in public when some sales guy talks to her in some shop are so not normal and are the epitome of possessive.

If you never want her to go out without you.  While being called ‘inseparable’ as a couple can be cute, it can also be very disconcerting if you pressure her to take you everywhere she goes except maybe the ladies room.  That’s really a great way of showing her that you want to own her. Uh-huh.

You call her at least once every 30 minutes. This is sweet but only after so long. But to have to do it even after several months of dating, checking up on her worse than your mom did on you at your first summer camp is just not fun at all. It makes her feel like a kid and makes you the tyrant.  Come to think of it, even guards don’t check on jail inmates that often!

If you have to know everything. This is one of the biggest indicators of being a possessive control-freak boyfriend. It can only mean that you cannot bear the thought of mystery because your mind goes on auto-pilot and takes you to doom scenario land. And so you have to resort to having to know everything about her including every single thing that goes on during her bathroom break.  Unfortunately it also signals clearly that you don’t trust her!

You brand her as ‘yours’ in every possible way. Whether it’s making her wear a non-wedding ring, wear a locket that has your picture in it, changing her phone background into your photo, or going as far as forcing her to have your face tattooed on her arm, you just want the world to know that she’s taken (by you, nonetheless) so boys will stay away from her.

Not enough? Then read more tips here>>>

I hate to tell you this, but if you are guilty of any one of these actions, then you are a certified, over-the-top possessive boyfriend. And you’d have to check with your girlfriend how she feels about you right now.  You may want to do a personal assessment to see what you need to improve to enjoy better relationships with women.

If this does not fully answer your questions then it must be time for you to sign up for the “Swing Method” at http://swingstatus.com/signup/.

The Common Denominator

November 25, 2013 — Leave a comment

Have you been jumping from one relationship to another?

Is your dating life nothing more than a few good dates and the women either disappear or just end up with someone else, and you are left alone in your miserable single life?

Have you been recycling exes one after another, just to keep the bed warm or at least just to stand next to you in social functions?

Do you feel like you’ve been cursed into solitude for the rest of your life? How do you break this seeming ‘curse’ to your love life? How do you break your string of bad relationships?

Tips for better relationship

Here are some of tips to improve your dating life and get better chances at finding a more lasting relationship:

Change your social circle. Maybe you’ve been looking for women in the wrong places. Constantly picking up women in bars and clubs, or hanging out in strip clubs, or dating women who are looking only for one-night stands won’t lead to a lasting relationship. You’re lucky if relationships with these types of women last for more than five dates, but really, there’s hardly anything significant to expect. So change your social circle, find a different place to meet women, go for places where conversations are allowed and personalities – not looks – shine.

Change the way you approach women. Maybe you seem too fast, too aggressive, or too shallow. Maybe you need to let the good side of your personality shine through in the way you approach women. If you’re funny, then be funny! If you’re geeky, give her a lesson or two about the internet or Star Wars. What truly matters about getting a lasting, significant relationship in its early stages is that you give her something to look forward to about you. Give her a reason to make her listen to you.

Break your bad habits. If you’re a notorious player, I don’t see a reason why you would be in a lasting relationship. If you have a habit of beating your girlfriends, flirting around casually or whatever other bad habits you possess, not getting into a good relationship is practically normal and hardly surprising. So check yourself inwardly – have you been doing things that drive away great women from your life?

Stay single for a bit longer, and don’t make any conscious effort to find someone to date. It may be a little difficult to stay single after all your effort at trying to get in a relationship, but the truth is, you might not really need it. Or at least not really need it just yet. So why not use this time to actually get to know yourself better, enjoy the single life more, and maybe prepare yourself better emotionally for a future relationship. Call this stage your ‘relationship purging’.

And here’s a big tip: how to get her phone number (good tips here at SIBG.com)

There is no curse, probably just a series of bad choices and bad habits. Change some of these things just to see how much better it changes your chances in the dating arena. Good luck!

I hope this helps you find a really good and meaningful relationship. In case you need help with your seduction technique, consider signing up for the “Swing Method” at http://swingstatus.com/signup/.

Hey man, this is Joseph Cohen once more.  In this post I want to answer a query posed by my good friend Robert: “Joseph, how can I get my girlfriend to listen to what I have to say?”

I told Robert that there is no easy answer to that question.  If I had a penny for everytime a man tells me how difficult their girlfriends are, I’d be a rich man.  For the benefit of all of you my readers, this post contains everything I told Robert.

Women can be very annoyingly stubborn. Part of the blame can be laid on their innate motherly hormones, which makes them somehow want to take control of everything and treat everyone else like their children. A woman I know says her boyfriend asks her to listen to what he has to say at least three times a day, and calls her stubborn about twice as often.

Make her listen to you

So how do you make your woman listen to you? How do you invoke the wifely gene in her, instead of the maternal instinct? Is there a way for you to actually make your woman see your credibility?  Actually, and quite surprisingly, the answer to all these questions is – yes you can. Here are some tips:

Be more decisive. If you ask her to decide things 9 out of 10 times, chances are, she won’t believe you have the ability to decide even that one time. By giving her most of the deciding power in the relationship you have relinquished your right to decide. So man up and quit the ‘whatever you want darling’ thing if you still want her to believe that you’ve got things under control. Don’t be surprised if she might Gives You the Cold Shoulder then.

Be more assertive about what you want and what you don’t want but don’t forget where the borders are between assertion and disrespect. Assertion is seen on many levels; when you’re certain about what you want, when your voice says that you are actually certain about what you want (uhm, uhm, uhm – that’s not really certain), and when you stand by what you want. And your girl has got to see exactly this: that her boyfriend is strong physically, mentally and in every other aspect!

Stop calling her stubborn. Calling her stubborn, arguing with her about why she should and shouldn’t follow you, and making a fight out of it is useless. Don’t call her names, it will make her want to defy you even more. (PS: maybe you can try a little reverse psychology on her instead?) Here’s a list of Things You Should Not Say To Your Woman.

Let your actions speak louder than your words. So you argued about whether or not canola is a better and healthier oil than extra virgin olive. Or that opening the can with a can opener is more efficient than using a knife – blah blah blah. In all these arguments, always, always make sure that your actions are even more assertive than your words. In the wise words of the man who taught me to write, “don’t just tell ‘em, show ‘em!” Makes sense doesn’t it? Or says these good and funny pickup lines you must know to her.

Don’t raise your voice. The calmer you are, the more impact your words have. All the best speakers in the history of public speaking know that there is more to effective speaking than the volume of your voice. Sometimes, silence can relay more than spoken words. So whenever you have to talk with your girlfriend about anything – especially anything that you know will spark an argument or invite resistance, keep your voice low. That can make all the difference.

This post covers just a small portion of the “Swing Method”.  Sign up for it at http://swingstatus.com/signup/ for much more seduction and dating information.

Hello readers.  This is Joseph Cohen and in this post I would like to give my thoughts on some questions that guys should avoid, at at least avoid answering, on dates.

When you are going on dates, you are bound to get questions about yourself, your thoughts on certain topics or some events in your life. But some questions are just going too far and are really inappropriate. Questions like these can ruin the whole date and may cause it to end prematurely, because really, who wants to be interrogated with questions like these:

How long did your last relationship last, and why did it end?

No one loves talking about past relationships, especially if they ended on bad terms. It will only cause bad memories rise up to the surfacce once again.  This is a question you should not ask even if when you are already in a relationship. But why did it end, she asks? Ermm I don’t know, maybe it was just not working out, maybe she was a total she-devil, the wrong kind of dominatrix, she farts too much, or maybe she outright cheated on you. It is totally inappropriate and it is none of her concern; hit the button, because you don’t want a girl that begins asking questions like these. Next!

Did you ever cheat on someone?

No matter the answer, she will most likely not believe you. Since you just met each other, you both don’t know each other enough to tell when the other is telling the truth or not . For all you know she could be a serial killer, and for all she knows you could be a secret agent. The point is: it is none of her business; you are just going out on a date and are still getting to know each other. Leave out answering this question for when you are getting serious.

How many kids do you want?

Does it matter now? You are dating, not planning an entire clan! These questions scares all men in the beginning, because a woman that is thinking of having kids this early (you are hardly officially boyfriend and girlfriend) is bound up to try and get pregnant, with or without your permission. This girl will only lead to trouble and child support; and she’s likely clingy!

When do you want kids?

“Sorry missy, I gotta go, I just received an important call and em…“ When she pops this question on the first few, pre-official dates, you had better plan an escape route, and plan it FAST! This question is worse than the previous one, because 9 out of 10 times, she wants it sooner than you – way sooner. Questions about kids are way too personal for dates, and questions about having them during dates are the biggest no-no’s in dating history.

How much do you earn?

Really? Is she that impatient or can she really not hide that she is just in for the money? Girls that go for the money never stay when you are running low on budget, and they will not contribute nearly enough or as much as you would like them to contribute. They will pretend to love you as long as you shower them with gifts, jewels and cold hard cash. (And besides, it is common courtesy to never ask about how much anyone earns unless she’s family or something.)

There are many other questions we guys would never want to hear and should lay off answering; and these represent just a fraction of what some women will try to find out about you. But don’t worry, after understanding the right way on how to talk to a girl (a guide from SIBG). There are plenty fish in the sea and many of them will not act like an interrogation officer.

If you’re interested in improving your seduction batting average, sign up for the “Swing Method” at http://swingstatus.com/signup/.